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 My Day In Court - August 13, 1999 9:30 am - 11:00 am FREE KRUCOFF Forget justice, I would have settled for just ICE. The only thing hotter than the poorly ventilated court building were the tables full of watches I passed in Chinatown. The real punishment here is the process, the monetary fine means nothing. You wait in lines, a lot of them. People smell and talk too much. I hid my face in a Wall Street Journal to avoid eye contact with these people. I think I've figured the problem with society - it's men. (current job has no influence with this conclusion, i promise.) As far as I can tell, it's only men commiting crime. I would have loved to hear just one woman get called to the bench for public urination. No chance. A steady stream of males - latinos, asians with interpretors, black teens busted for dope, and dopey white kids like myself - kept the place busy. The public defender looked like he was having the time of his life. Our own personal Johnnie Cochran, only in the form of a wise-cracking round little Jewish guy. Alas, it was rather anti-climatic, no Larry Flynt chest pounding but the judge did tell me to take my hands out of my pockets. Damn, guilty of bad manners too! When they read the charge out loud - "Andrew Krucoff. Violation of criminal code 105-A. Open alcohol container in public. Beer. Sam Adams." - I have to admit I felt like a wuss. All the other cool kids were busted with St. Ides or Colt 45. I pled guilty, offered no explanation, paid the $25 fine, and blew a kiss to the court stenographer. Yeah, I got my dignity back.
-- From the "FREE KRUCOFF" e-mail, Aug. 13, 1999
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